It’s that time of year! Yes, it’s only October, but Christmas decorations and paraphanelia are showing up at many stores. I even saw a few strings of Christmas lights on some trees the other day.
Truth be told, I’m not really ready to start thinking about Christmas yet, but I feel I must. You see, after last Christmas my husband and I determined to make some changes. One decision we made was that this year there would be no gifts. No gifts, you gasp?! Well, no gift exchanging will be done among our immediate family. We aren’t going to cut off gift exchanges with the grandparents or other family members. Let me explain our reasons…
- Our kids have way more toys than they know what to do with. They don’t even play with most of their toys. They play with a select few and the rest lay untouched most of the time.
- It is always a struggle trying to come up with gift ideas for the kids to give the grandparents and other family members who are terribly generous to our kids. Once we give all of the ideas away to other family members, we are left wandering Toys Я Us picking up random things our kids will only be excited about for 15 seconds after opening the gift up.
- Last, and most importantly, we desire to have a worship-filled Christmas morning with our children. We want an experience that is focused on Christ, not on worldly gifts. We want our children to experience the thrill of sharing with those who are truly in need.
Give Us Your Ideas
We have decided to use the money we would typically use on gifts for the kids and each other to help individuals who have real needs. We are currently in the brainstorming stage. We would like the kids to be involved in this gift-giving process in some way.
We have had special Christ-focused family devotions the past year during the weeks leading up to Christmas and would like to do so again this year. We’d like to find something a bit different than what we’ve done the last couple of years, but haven’t yet settled on an idea.
We’re also open to considering any other unique ideas or traditions that will help us focus on Christ this Christmas. So, my fine unfeathered friends, what are you doing to make this a Christ-centered Christmas? I’d love for you to share your ideas!
We have not used a Christmas tree or given gifts in our immediate family for over 15 years. We have chosen to do this based on theological/ historical reasons. One rich way to celebrate Christmas is through celebrating the liturgical season of Advent. I like this website for celebrating Advent. http://www.adventconspiracy.org/
It includes a Sunday school curriculum centered on “Worship Fully, Give More, Spend Less, Love All” as well as ways to give. Check it out!
Uber kuddos to your family for deciding to not do gift exchanging this year – I hope you find it a centering and rich blessing!
Peace!
We’re still planning on having a Christmas tree and decorating for the season, but the gifts have become such a distraction.
Thank you for passing along the website! I will definitely check it out with Luke and see if it’s something we can incorporate.
Personally I don’t need a lot of stuff and also find gift giving a big hassle. Several years ago I would have completely agreed with this philosophy. Now I’m a little more cautious. I read the book The Five Love Languages which describes five primary ways which people feel loved. They are by being touched, by being give positive words of affirmation, by having things done for them, spending quality time together and receiving gifts.
My primary love language is words of affirmation and I suspect this is the case with many bloggers. Don’t we love receiving comments? After I read this book I realized my both my sister and sister-in-law were likely people who felt love when they receive gifts. I immediately bought each a small gift and sent them off. Well the response I received was amazing.
So I totally agree with you, but if you have someone in the family you suspect feels love when they receive gifts, you may consider giving them something at other times through the year. Small things like this that are seem meaningless to you can greatly improve your relationships.
I would be lying to say that I don’t enjoy getting gifts, because I really do! I do get what you’re saying about the love languages, I’ve also read the book. BUT, with getting rid of gifts this year we’re trying to show our kids that Christmas isn’t about getting “stuff.” It’s about celebrating Christ and his birth and what has already been given to us.
With that said, we will still be giving gifts to some other people in our family this year. Grandparents and some of my younger siblings. With my brother and sister-in-law we simply exchange gifts for the children. For Christmas my husband and I are not going to exchange gifts or give gifts to our children.
Thank you for the reminder to remember our family and their love languages throughout the year. You are right, knowing what makes your family members feel loved can greatly improve relationships!
An interesting idea! Now, I’ve already given the kids their Christmas AND birthday gifts this season – kayaks. I got them on-sale in September, saving a lot of money. Our focus for gifts is more 1-2 things that the kids can use for a long time vs. toys that they lose interest with in a few weeks. And if that gift is something that gets us out and exercising as a family, even better! As for other family members, I decided that we would MAKE gifts this year for everyone, giving only purchased gifts to young cousins. For example, the kids are making coasters (using 16 cent tiles from Lowe’s) with maps glued to the fronts to show special places grandparents have gone. It’s more personal…and 3 gifts cost us only $6. We will be spending more time DOING and GIVING this year, rather than buying!
Those are great ideas! I am also going to try to do homemade/semi-homemade type of gifts for many family members this year. We’ll see how it goes!
In the past we had capped the Christmas gifts for our kids to 3 modest gifts: 1 educational, 1 practical, and 1 fun.
In the past we’ve done the christmas boxes for operation christmas child and samaritan also has a program where you can buy practical things for those in need- i.e. soccer balls or books, clean water, milk, etc.
We keep Christmas very simple- used and homemade. My parents usually go a bit crazy but they have toned it down some in the past few years.
We have done Operation Christmas child in years past, but I haven’t ever looked into Samaritans Purses other programs. We will have to do that. Thank you for the suggestion.
I have wanted to substitute out Christmas tree with a more Christ-centered display for years. I know people who put up mangers and some who have a cross and crown. We’re not there yet, but this is, after all, a family.
We’ve really pared back in recent years. Too.much.stuff. We do shop the World Vision and Compassion catalogs. And we ask ourselves, “Who’s birthday is it?” Well, the answer is Jesus. So the gifts belong to Him.
Thanks for sharing… Blessings on your Christmas planning! 🙂
Good question to ask! We are hoping our kids can focus more on the fact that its Jesus Birthday and gifts are for him this year. They’ll still get plenty of stuff from other family members, but we hope they can experience the joy of giving to those in need.
We definitely need to check out the compassion and world vision catalogs. Thanks for the recommendation!
I like this idea a lot. I do agree with the comment about the 5 Love Languages. It’s can be tricky but you know your family so I am sure this will work for you! I personally love to give gifts more than receiving them. It’s my favorite thing about the holidays. That doesn’t mean that we don’t focus on the true meaning of Christmas. Most of the gifts are thoughtful and long-lasting. Thanks for linking up with ITWW this week.
Thank you for stopping by!
Found your post via Beauty for Ashes. This is a really cool idea. It’s neat that you are instilling the idea of giving into your children while they are young. I know places like Samaritan’s Purse come out with gift catalogs at Christmastime where you can give money for specific gifts for the less-fortunate. Things like that seem like a cool idea for families who decide no gifts. That way the children can still pick out a gift… but for those in need. 🙂
ahumblebumble.blogspot.com
We have always done 3 gifts each for our kids, and we have been talking about not doing gifts this year at all. They get a few gifts from grandparents but we don’t have extended family so they’re not overloaded. I am very intentional about getting just the right gifts for them and everything does get played with. However, they are still playing with it all and they don’t need any more. They have no *needs.*
Last year, we “adopted” a family for Christmas through the local Salvation Army and plan to continue doing that. We purchased the gifts for the family, boxed them up, and delivered it to the SA office. I like that it is local and we all shop together so it’s more tangible for the kids. We have done the World Vision, etc. catalogs in the past, but then I didn’t like what I’ve read about how they and other huge charitable organizations use their money so we want to help local families in need, instead.
We adopted a local family two years ago. That is also another interesting idea. We like to give overseas simply because we know the needs are so much greater in many parts of the world. I’m not sure about some of the programs, but I do know that Compassion International seems to manage their money really well. We’ve been impressed with them as we sponsor two boys through Compassion.
I love this. I really wish I could do this in my home, but my husband grew up very deprived, and one of his great joys in life is lavishing his kids with gifts. I let him have that because he is not yet a Christian, and I’m hoping the holiday joy and spirit will bring him around some day! As for making it a Christ-centered Christmas, I’ll have to think about that! I’ve just started Bible reading with the kids so I’ll have to get creative. Some great ideas are here!
I understand needing to do things differently with a non-believing spouse. That must be very difficult, trying to make the holiday Christ-centered without the support of a spouse. I am sure you will be able to find some great things to do with your kids though! Prayers are with you and for your spouse.
I have seriously been considering asking family (including my parents, sisters, inlaws, etc) to select a gift out of the Samaratin’s Purse catalog to purchase rather than giving me a gift this year. I already have so much stuff I don’t need.
It’s so true! We Americans live a life of over-abundance!
Recently the kiddos and I had this conversation. We discussed that I didn’t want to hear anymore about “What I want for Christmas”. I said that I already knew, and that I wanted them to start making lists of what they want to GIVE family members for Christmas, instead of making lists of what they want. We always take part in the Samaritan’s Purse boxes, and the kids are allowed to pick the gifts and pack the boxes themselves. They truly love doing this! Thank you for sharing and for linkin up! 🙂 Blessings!
Having kids focus on what they would like to give rather than receive would certainly help take the focus off self. Thank you for sharing how you keep Christmas meaningful!
Great post & I enjoyed the comments, also. We’ve always done a big Christmas until last year spent it in our RV at a campground in Florida. Being in the RV, we had to do everything small & simple. Honestly I was a little worried we wouldn’t get in the Christmas spirit, but it was perfect and special! The meaning of Christmas doesn’t change… We haven’t decided yet if we’d spend Christmas in our RV this year, or at our camp in Maine, but we think we’ll do the three gifts (like from the wise men). Probably one or two practical ones, and at least one fun one.
Here from the Hop!
Our house is somewhat the same– they get one gift from us– Never toys–We start Christmas the 1st of the year–What?–Yes–We do the good samartian purse–and gather as many gifts, as we can all year–start wrapping in October the children shoes boxes. This isn’t about us–its about Our Lord.
Great idea Mike! Sounds like a wonderful way to encourage your kids to be thinking of others all year long.
I didn’t realize that I hadn’t left a comment yet, since we had talked about this a bit on facebook. This is definitely something that I struggle with. I’m not against giving gifts, I just don’t like the focus to come off of Christ. Last year we sort of separated it by doing advent each day leading up to Christmas Eve and doing our big true celebration then. On Christmas day we did gifts and the focus was more of – because God gave us this incredible gift that we’ve been talking about for the past month, we like to think of each other and give each other gifts. My husband’s family is not saved for the most part, so they wouldn’t understand if they were not allowed to give our children gifts. I feel like I’m rambling…well, the thoughts in my head about the subject are quite jumbled so I guess that makes sense =) Thanks for sharing this with us at Trivium Tuesdays!
I’m not against gifts either, we just need to try something new this year. We are going to be sure the kids get all of their gifts from various grandparents and family members sometime OTHER than Christmas morning. We want our Christmas morning this year to be a worship celebration. We’ll see how it goes and I’m sure will report back afterwards!
We had similar concerns and began drawing names when Grace was about 4 or 5. So, for the past 17 years we draw names after Christmas. The guidelines are you cannot have the same person you gifted the year before. Then, you have all year to think of that person and make them something special or plan a gift for them. It has been great fun, a stress reliever, and has helped take the focus off of gifts. The younger 3 really haven’t known anything other than that. Of course, grandparents still love to shower them with gifts, so they NEVER “lack”.
A couple of the special traditions we have are “Attribute” ornaments and an advent calendar from Desiring God ministries. I purchased frosted glass ornaments (balls) from a craft store and used a paint pen to write an attribute/character trait/name of God on each one. I put them in a basket and beginning after Thanksgiving we add one to the tree each night. Each family member has a sheet of paper they put in their Bible that lists the attributes and associated scriptures. We take turns closing our eyes and picking an ornament from the basket. Then we take turns reading and discussing the scripture verses about that attribute of the Lord. I made 25 ornaments. Each year is different because of schedules, health, etc., but we try to do as many as possible. We use one of those fake small trees (4 foot) from the craft store. I also have made Chrismons …which are Christmas decorations with a Christian significance. Chrismon is a combination of two words…Christ/monogram. So, some are symbols (like an icthus or crown) others are monograms like Chi Rho. It makes for a beautiful tree that focuses specifically on the Lord. We have a “regular” tree for all the other family/homemade/seasonal type of decorations.
And years ago Desiring God ministries sold an advent calendar based on one Noel Piper made for her family to use when the boys were young. It has animals and small wooden figurines that attach to the daily burlap wall calendar with velcro. Every day there is a reading from Luke that ends with “Jesus is the greatest treasure of all.” That is one of Hannah’s favorites.
Lastly, instead of a traditional advent wreath, I bought a white styrofoam wreath and decorated it with gold sequins and pearls so it looks like a crown. And each week as we read we look back and remember the incarnation, but also look forward in anticipation of His second advent!
Well….I’ve rambled enough!!! May the Lord bless your family as you seek to honor Him.
Thank you so much for sharing Cyndi! Those are all great ideas. I love the idea of the attribute ornaments. Maybe I could get a copy of the attributes and associated scriptures from you? I think we have another idea for this year, but I’d love to try doing that another year, maybe next year! You are welcome to ramble any time you like 🙂
Sure. I thought of you tonight when I was in Lansing. They had nice clear plastic ornament balls on sale for $0.50 each (which is half off the normal price) at Michaels. They are on sale through Nov. 8. if you are interested, I will be back in Lansing on Thursday (which is the last day they are on sale). just fyi, thought if you wanted to try it, plastic might work better with your house full of men. 🙂
Thank you for thinking of me! I don’t think I’m ready to do the ornaments this year. Luke and I have an idea for this year, but I definitely would like to talk to Luke about trying them next year. And plastic would most assuredly work better in my home than glass balls 🙂
I just stumbled across this article and the comments, and realize it is 4 four years old, but if possible, I too would appreciate a copy of your “Attribute” ornaments with accompanied scriptures.
Thank you.
I have really enjoyed reading this post along with all the comments. So many great ideas and suggestions. My husband and I have changed Christmas in our home this year. We saw an idea last year, either on facebook or pinterest, where the gifts for the kids are one each of something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. There was a book recommended to me last year I recently purchased and plan to incorporate next year. It is The ADVENTure of Christmas by Lisa Welchel. I am familiarizing myself with the book more each day and am already excited for next year! The last couple of years we have done a family Christmas Eve box. It consists of a Christmas inspired book, a game or activity, a Christmas movie and popcorn. I do really enjoy this and plan to include a new pair of pj’s for the kiddo’s this year. So I think next year may even be a little different then this one. There are definitely some idea’s I really like on here!
We have in years past done 3 gifts for our kids: something they want, something they need, something to wear. We haven’t set a certain protocol that we will do things the same each year. From year to year, we think and pray about what we believe will bless our children and help them focus on Christ the best way during Christmas each year. I will have to check out the book you referenced – it sounds great! Thans for the recommendation.
Just found this post through a friend’s page on FB. Great idea! I do have a question….how did you explain to your kids about received gifts from extended family but no gifts from immediate family or did the questions ever arise? Our kids are 5 1/2 and 21 mths. As i was reading through all the comments I kept wondering about that. Any tips or suggestions would be welcomed. Trying to be prepared ahead of the kids and their questions. LOL! 🙂
We actually brought it up. We basically made our home on Christmas “gift free.” When gifts from others were opened, they were open well before Christmas or they were opened at another location. As the holiday got nearer, we tried to steer clear of any commercialism, and we explained why.
We have a congregation in our area that gives to our Women’s and Children’s Hospital’s new borns in need. You could always purchase baby clothes and blankets and donate to local hospital.
Good Day!
My parents and I have been doing this community activity for the last four years. We have an Organization in our city that conducts a Homeless Memorial Service to pay tribute to those who have died on the street and for those who knew them to speak. This service and a reception is held at a church. My family and I provide baked goods (mom) and I collect toiletries, hats, scarves and other necessities for them and make gift bags. It has been an absolute joy for my family and I to do this each year. This is one of the ways we celebrate Christ during the Christmas season.
Check for a local organization in your area that provides for those in need.
Thank you for sharing. What a great service!
We’re giving to “Save the Children Holiday Gifts of Joy.” You can give “hope” to children.
Two years ago, I started giving “checks” to my family members. Never got such a great response before. They were very appreciative to have money just to help pay a bill. Then, this year I’m expanding it to this organization that helps children.
Jesus Christ is our gift. We’re giving to “Save the Children Holiday Gifts of Joy.” Gifts that save and enhance lives are more important than making department stores richer. They started this Christmas craziness, anyhow.
My neighborhood has adopted up to 10 needy families for years. Through SAY San Diego’s Adopt a Family holiday drive you can share the joy and wonder of the winter holidays with San Diego families whose pressing needs overshadow the holidays. With your help families won’t have to choose between keeping the electricity on and gifts for their children, or between food on the table and those special presents for the kids. There’s no better way to spread the warmth of the holiday season than by extending a hand and ensuring a child has a happy holiday. I do not know if SAY is in other cities but a fantastic organization to work with!
Your kids will wonder why you give other people gifts, but don’t give them any.
You should be consistent. Let’s face it, most adults we know have everything they need already, too.
Too true.