Before I became a mother, I had elaborate visions of what I wanted motherhood to look like with my own children. Don’t get me wrong: my mother is amazing—which is probably one reason I felt so much pressure to be just as fabulous.
My mother was and is always there for me and my brothers. She was and still is the epitome of grace and class in every circumstance. How was I supposed to live up to that?
For years, society has shown us mothers in the news, magazines, and on television. They are all perfect—at least, in ways that I find I’m not. And don’t even get me started on Pinterest. I am not, nor ever have been, crafty. Crafts terrify me. The mess, the chaos, the imperfections. The crafty mom, I am not.
We don’t do family crafts.
My children disobey daily.
I yell. More than I care to admit.
Family game nights often get put on hold for ministerial work that comes up.
Right now I am on bed rest with baby #5 and I still have until the end of July before we meet this precious one.
So I wonder, how could I possibly be the best mom for my children?
God created me for a purpose—His purpose. And one of the most important purposes He has given me is being a mother to these precious blessings. I have learned what really is important when defining who is the best mom for my children. Regardless of my failures, He is where I need to draw my strength and purpose. Not society. Not what I believe to be the perfect mother. Not even from my own mother. Him and HIM alone.
Let me give you some encouragement from God’s word on being the best mother for your children.
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” – Proverbs 31:26
As I mentioned earlier, I’m a yeller. Hard as I try, I fall back in to this trap more often than not. I don’t want to and daily I ask the Lord to help me hold my tongue and speak with with kindness.
That doesn’t make me horrible mother, but it does make me a sinner and gives me great opportunity to speak about forgiveness with my children.
Admitting my sin and failure to my own children is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do, but to hear their sweet hearts and responses overwhelms me with pride.
“She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” – Proverbs 31:27
I am not, nor have ever been, a gossip. I do not like when people talk about other people, especially when they clarify it with, “I thought you should know.” That is still gossip.
When I married my husband, I took a vow that said I would put him first. I would take care of his house and listen to him as he sought the Lord in the ways of our household. My job is at home—whether I work outside of the home or not, doesn’t matter. My job as wife and mother is to take care of the house and all that is in it. If I am doing that properly, I won’t have time for idleness or gossip.
“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:28-30
At the end of the day, I want to know my children and husband will call me blessed. If I aim to please them, I will fail—every time.
But my aim is to please Jesus Christ with my entire life. I don’t want to be known as the skinniest, prettiest, coolest, or most awesome mom.
I want to be known as a mom who failed daily but asked for forgiveness. I want to be known as a mom who didn’t have all the answers but pointed them to the One who does.
It has taken me many years to realize that no matter what I think my shortcomings are, my children see me differently.
There is such wisdom here — we set our expectations high as mums and that’s a good thing. But you’ve given grace for the setting of those goals. Thank you!
Thank you for the encouragement, Michele.
What a beautiful, honest post! I love that you mention that you will fail daily, but will go to God for forgiveness. I think kids see that and learn from that when parents image humility and repentance vs trying to appear like they have all the answers and acting flawless. Kids see through the masks adults sometimes try to wear and it speaks volume when parents and other adults can own up to mistakes and can point their kids to Jesus rather to themselves. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
It isn’t easy being vulnerable, especially to our own children. But you are right, they do see right through the masks. Thank you for the encouragement and stopping by! Blessings, Annette
I have the same failings as a mother and in a world of Pinterest moms, it’s hard not to feel like I’m not being the mother I should be. But my kids are happy, I’m teaching them about God and I’m also showing them that you don’t have to be perfect to still be okay.
And that’s really all that we can do, isn’t is Hannah. Thanks for stopping by!