Ah, the three-letter-word that's music to every parent's ears: "Why?" (It's three letters if you're lucky. Oftentimes, it's more like ten: "Whyyyyyyyy?") So how can you respond without losing your temper or your sanity - or both? The answer is likely found in one of the three D's: Dominate I'm in favor of the occasional "because I said so." I don't say it often (and I don't recommend that you do, either), because I want my kids to know that I have good reasons for what I say. The boundaries and expectations I have in place aren't arbitrary, and my reasons can stand up to their questioning. But on ...Read More
What kind of parent are you: problem-solver or solution-trainer?
"Mom, I'm tired of Julianne coming into my room and messing with my stuff. Tired of it!" my oldest daughter, Michaela, complained to me about her little sister recently. How would you respond in this situation? A.) "Julianne! Stop messing with things that don't belong to you!" B.) "Michaela, stop tattling. I don't want to hear it." C.) "Oh, I know how frustrating that must be! What do you think you're going to do about it?" I tend to respond with option A or option B, depending on my mood (which is a pretty lousy rudder by which to steer this parenting ship). And it turns out there's a major drawback ...Read More
The Hidden Blessing of Strong Willed Children
There was a time when my husband and I were rather skilled at patting ourselves on the back. I think it was pretty well-deserved. After all, we had given the world its very first angelic two-year-old. We were the best parents ever. She was compliant and sweet, cheerful and thoughtful. Yep. Best. Kid. Ever. "Terrible twos?" we scoffed in private. "Not our girl!" And then she turned three. Wow. Gone was our delightful little angel. In her place was... well, I'll let your imagination fill in the blanks. She was still agreeable as long as things were going her way. But when they weren't, you'd ...Read More
Summer Sanity: 12 Ideas for a Purposeful Summer with Your Kids
Summer is my very favorite time of the year. It's been that way for as long as I can remember. How I looked forward to summer break when I was a kid! I fondly remember childhood days of lazy mornings and long, warm evenings playing outside. I think I anticipated summers even more as a public school teacher, and perhaps most of all now that I'm a homeschooling mom. I'm a creature of structure and routine, but my inner rebel relishes the freedom of relaxed schedules and shorter to-do lists. Although, as my kids get older, I've noticed a less-than-delightful trend. After the first week or two away from the ...Read More
Complaining Kids: 7 Parenting Strategies
"I didn't want that kind!" "Oatmeal again?" "Why did she get the bigger one?" "I hate emptying trash cans." "Awww, man!" I endured comments like these for weeks and maybe even months before I suddenly had an epiphany. My kids have a complaining habit. They were complaining about everything. From the food I served them to the chores we required of them, no aspect of our home life was immune. Even when a request was granted, they complained that it wasn't enough. "Sure, you can stay up until 8:30." "Why can't we stay up until 9?" "Sure, you can have a cookie." "Why can't I have two?" And before I ...Read More
