Kids are always watching. Every move we make. Every word we say. Kids see and hear it all. I’ve often said, if you want to know the phrases you say too much…have kids.
As parents, we have been entrusted by God to raise these precious blessings He has given us. We are to protect them, feed them, nurture them and as Christians, we are to help them grow in Christ.
It is also our job to inspire them.
To be better.
To be stronger.
To be godly Christian men and women.
Our Personal Media Choices Matter
But how can we inspire them? How can we teach them to be more Christ-like in a world full of evil desires—in a world with constant evil being thrown in their faces and so easily at their fingertips?
I believe it starts with the choices we, as parents, make regarding media: social media, movies, song choices, television shows, etc. Our own personal choices in these areas play a significant roll in our parenting and the inspiration of our children.
What message are we, as parents, sending our children?
While my husband and I are very strict about the movies, television shows and music our children are exposed to, we realized that our own choices weren’t reflecting the same standards.
When our oldest child, now ten, was about 4 years old, he awoke one night as we were watching a movie. While there was no nudity (which is never allowed in our home), there was profanity. We scrambled to pause it before his little ears heard too much. He looked at us confused. Why were we so panicked? Why were we “hiding” our choice?
We were ashamed.
Cleaning House
That one moment changed our choices forever. We stopped the movie and didn’t finish it. We talked about what happened and why we were ashamed and what needed to change.
The very next day we removed every rated “R” movie from our collection. We wouldn’t let our children watch that language and filth, and we don’t need to either. We didn’t need to fill our minds with profanity, the violence, or the ever-so-brief nudity that often came with those movies.
But, the rating isn’t the only restriction we have. Even though a movie has a lower rating, doesn’t automatically mean its appropriate for us or our family. We also take in to consideration the subject matter. If it is a movie that deals with something we don’t approve of, we don’t watch it. We don’t watch movies or television shows with crass/rude humor. It is a choice we have made for us and our family.
It is our job to protect them and help them stay kids a little longer in this ever growing digital age.
As for social media, my husband and I believe in being open and honest with our children. While we may reserve some e-mails and social media conversations for our eyes only due to privacy of the sender, we do not hide who we are friends with online.
With a world full of sexual temptations geared younger and younger, our restrictions have become more and more strict. If a new subject matter comes up, we discuss it. We often discuss these choices with our now ten year old, as he needs to learn how and why we make these decisions, so as to help him make wise decisions in the future. They are not easy discussions or choices, but they are ones that we believe will help him remain a child just a little longer.
I full-heartedly believe our choices directly affect our children. They see our choices. They see our attitudes, which are often a reflection of the television shows, movies and music to which we listen.
Protecting & Preparing Kids for the Dangers Behind the Screen
If you’re looking for more information on how to both protect and prepare your kids for the big-wide-world of media consumption, check out this 3-part training—The Media Monster!
This is so true! The choices we make as adults and parents definitely affect our children, but not just those we make *for* them. In our household, we are also open and don’t hide from one another or Baby Boy. We believe this is also a way in which to teach about choices and the world around us. 🙂
You are SO right! We don’t hide our choices either. We talk them over with the children in an age-appropriate manner and build their ability to make their own choices for the “harder stuff” down the road.
Yes! I believe that media discernment is one of the hottest battles of our time. Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness; so one can have fellowship with “works”, and evil communication (communion, fellowship) corrupt good morals. “Is it a sin?” is often the wrong question by itself because it applies no Scripture and is subject to carnal reasoning. Some better questions might be:
1. Am I communing with evil? (Neither be ye idolaters… as it is written, The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play. The problem was not necessarily that they sat down to eat and drink, but that they rose up to play. They not only took a meal in the idol’s temple, so to speak, but became emotionally and spiritually involved with wickedness.)
2. Will it vex and hinder my soul? (Lot was vexed with seeing and hearing the unlawful deeds OF THE WICKED. It was not his own deeds that vexed his soul.)
3. Whether or not it is a stumbling in and of itself, will it cause me or someone else to stumble? (If thine eye cause thee to stumble, pluck it out. “But we see the same thing at Walmart” is no excuse. One is in the line of duty (shopping), while the other is willful (entertainment). It is impossible but that offences shall come (shopping), but woe unto him by whom the offence cometh (willfully partaking of entertainment and allowing children to do so).)
4. Will it cause me to think on things that have as their attributes things contrary to truth, honesty, justice, purity, loveliness, reputability, virtue, and praiseworthiness? (Php 4:8)
My wife and I did our own study on what the Bible says about the media, and I was surprised by just how much we found that directly applies.
We tend to be a bit more liberal with our viewing and reading choices, not really having a problem with swearing, say.
Our problem comes with the TV and movie mediums, period, as they tend to encourage passive sitting and absorbing whatever is on the screen, and many times the most “dangerous” messages are hidden: “This group is good/This group is bad,” or, “Dystopia is on its way — may as well get ready for it!”
We found that, as we analyzed the subtle messages we were getting, it wasn’t something we ourselves, as adults, wanted to be exposed to!
Oh wow! That sure stepped on my toes, but it was so good! It really made me think not only about WHAT I’m watching, but HOW MUCH I watch tv. I’m super strict about limiting my son’s tv time … so what kind of example am I setting when I turn it on in the background of my day or veg out for a couple hours at night??
I LOVED your final quote – “If we’re not inspiring them to be Christ-like, what are we inspiring them to be?” Oh that’s good!