The hustle and bustle of the holiday season is somewhat inescapable. It is a busy time of year with parties and celebrations, baking and cooking, and family traditions. We have three little ones in our house ages 4, 3, and 1, and sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed with the thought of Christmas and how our society focuses on the perfect gift.
However, when my husband and I had kids, we knew we wanted to set our children’s focus on God in every area of their lives. That includes Christmas. While we don’t think it’s wrong to receive gifts, we don’t want that to be our focus. If that is a family’s focus, it is so easy to cross over into materialism and selfishness.
More than that, we want our children to remember two things.
#1. Love God.
#2. Serve others.
That goes for the holiday season too. When we’re loving God and serving others, we are filled with joy and peace. That’s more than any present can give.
So how can we place those desires in their little hearts?
That question got me thinking about some ways that we can keep that mindset all holiday season (and all year) long. Some things that were on my heart were:
1) Emphasize the gift of Jesus instead of the gifts under the tree.
We desire to tell our children that God gave us the greatest gift of all when He gave us Jesus. It’s never too soon to tell your children about God’s sacrifice in sending Christ to die for our sins. Their little hearts are open and receptive to Jesus’ love.
- Reading the Christmas story together over the advent season or reading other scripture about Christ’s birth, promise, and love is a good way to keep that mindset all season.
- Other ways to maintain a focus on Jesus might be to set up a nativity scene and talk about each person and how God used them in special ways to bring about His plan, draw pictures together depicting what it would have been like to see the newborn baby, and my favorite, have a birthday party for Jesus! My kids love to make a cake and sing Happy Birthday to the King. Be creative!
2) Try to encourage an attitude of gratitude.
Do we teach our children that they can get everything they want, or do we teach them to be thankful for what they have? In our culture, it’s becoming more and more common to max out credit cards and go into all sorts of debt just to “have a nice Christmas.” Since when does having a nice Christmas include debt, stress, greed, frustration and exhaustion? Personally, that’s not in my definition of “a nice Christmas.” If our children are focused on what they want to receive and not what they have already been given, perhaps it’s time to reevaluate our thinking.
It is impossible to feel grateful and depressed in the same moment. (Naomi Williams)
When we are grateful, we aren’t focused on what we want and when we want it. No selfishness can rule our hearts when our hearts are fully thankful. I believe that teaching our children an attitude of gratitude is one of the most important and valuable things we can teach them.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17, NIV)
When we realize that everything we have comes from God, we are appreciative of what He provides and what He gives.
- A way we try to put this into action at Christmas time is by giving only a few gifts to our children. While our kids are little, we want them to learn to appreciate what they get instead of focusing on how many presents they receive or how much each one cost.
- We try to purchase little things they need such as socks, pajamas, a coat, clothing, or bedding along with one or two things they would really like that aren’t necessities such as a watch (my little girls love watches), a toy they’ve had their eye on, or a snack they love to eat.
- Then we like to buy something educational such as a book or DVD, paper and crayons, a school book, or an educational game.
- Lastly, we get something for the whole family (that the kids unwrap) such as a movie, a chapter book, a puzzle, a game or music that the whole family can enjoy together.
3) As a family, have the mindset of serving others.
Have you seen the acronym, J.O.Y? Jesus, Others, You. While it might seem cliche, the premise to this really is true. When we put our devotion for Jesus first and our service and love for others second, before ourselves, we really do find true joy. True joy does not come from a box in pretty wrapping. It doesn’t come from a store and you can’t buy it with a credit card. Aren’t we all more happy when we aren’t focused on ourselves all the time?
If we teach our children to serve when they are young, they will find it fulfilling and joyous to bring others happiness above their own happiness. One way to do this could be having each child put more effort into picking out or making something for another sibling or parent. That way, the emphasis isn’t on what they want. Instead, they are trying to think about what the other person might want or need.
Some other practical ways to teach your kids how to serve this holiday season might be something like:
- Bake cookies for neighbors and shut-ins. Personally deliver them with a hand written note of encouragement.
- Sing Christmas carols together at a nursing home or around your neighborhood.
- Invite widows or others who have no family to your holiday celebrations.
- Send a personal note or an anonymous gift in a Christmas card to a family who is in need.
- Pray as a family and ask God to show you someone who needs His love this Christmas. He will be faithful in showing you what to do. This not only teaches your kids to have a servant’s heart, but it teaches them to rely on God and seek His will.
We all want to give our kids the best, don’t we? Some of us feel that if we don’t give them everything they want, they won’t feel loved. Well, the opposite is actually true. When we teach our children to love God and serve others and not think only of themselves, we give them everything they’ll ever need.
Tis the season for spreading love and joy, peace and hope. Jesus is the reason.
Merry Christmas!
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